We watched The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard without context (i.e. without prior knowledge of the first film) and we loved it. So here are the 10 great things about it.
Number 10: When the second stage bodyguards came out of the water to shoot Darius and Michael but were killed almost immediately.
Number 9: Darius Kincaid starting a bar fight just to get free liquor but couldn’t even drink it because Michael Bryce (appeared from nowhere) eating gelato beside him.
Number 8: Darius and Sonia dumping Michael into a river when they thought he had died from a gunshot wound.
Number 7: Michael saying
Magnusson recognized me, which means he probably knows my moves
but Magnusson was like
I don’t recognize any of these losers. Shoot to kill.
Number 6: Bobby O’Neill calling the Ailso every Scottish man’s name he could think of.
First, he called her “asshole” then “William Wallace” and finally “Sean Connery.”
Number 5: Sonia telling Michael that she knows why he is obsessed with her boobs.
Number 4: Darius and Michael finding out that Michael is now a Kincaid spawn.
Number 3: Aristole telling Darius
perhaps one day you will learn that great men don’t need to stoop to vulgarity to express themselves
and Darius replying with
Oh, I know how to express myself, motherfucker.
Number 2: Michael Bryce choosing to drown himself in the end because of his parents (Darius and Sonia’s) loud sex.
Number 1: The flashback to when Michael shot Darius’ testicle. Darius’ face was everything.
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