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You know how much we didnโ€™t like Assistant Madams season 1. If you donโ€™t here is a vault of our documented pettiness towards the show.

It was a torturous season

Assistant Madams season 1 was dreadful and it was the reason why we decided not to commit to writing about it until weโ€™d seen enough to be able to decipher that we werenโ€™t about to waste at least 5 hours of our lives away. 

So without further ado, let begin with a recap of each episode.

Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts Episode 1

In this episode, we get to meet all three of our Assistant Madams because 

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They come in threes. 

First, is Lulu who is played by Big Brother Africa alum and winner, Dillish Matthews.

Dillish Matthews as Lulu Assistant Madams Season 2

Lulu is a business owner who is in a relationship with Piriye. She is also best friends with Cassie and Amira. 

Next is Cassie, played by Big Brother Naija alum and 1st runner-up, Cynthia โ€œCee-Cโ€ Nwadiora.

Cynthia Nwadiora CeeC as Cassie

A broke lawyer who still shags her creepy ex-boyfriend, Tochi on the side.

Last is Amira, played by actress, Salma Mumin

Salma Mumin as Amira Assistant Madams Season Dark Hearts

A digital marketing specialist who doubles as a sugar baby to Chief Adeniyi Johnson.

In this episode, we find out what each of these Assistant Madams conflicts is going to be. Oh, and by the way, Chioma Tha Scum is the narrator this season. 

Luluโ€™s conflict is her relationship with Piriye Brown (Mawuli Gavor).

Mawuli Gavor as Piriye Brown

Piriye is a married man and he is married to Luluโ€™s other best friend Nana Yeboah Brown (Joselyn Dumas).

Joselyn Dumas as Nana Yeboah Brown

Nana is basically a conniving bitch who thinks her success makes her better than everyone. She is also aware of Piriyeโ€™s affair with Lulu and she confronts Lulu about it. Lulu says

But you have an open marriage

and Nana counters her with

it is not open to you

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Cassieโ€™s conflict would be her love life too but not in the way it is for Lulu. Cassie is broke, jobless and sheโ€™s been

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Her weirdo ex Tochiย (Eso Dike)

Eso Dike as Tochi

On one faithful evening, she goes out to chill at the bar and she meets Tochi because you know, he has no life. 

Tochi tries to insert himself in her space but then Osaze

Timini Egbuson as Osaze Abebe-Martins

Swoops in to save the day.

Amiraโ€™s conflict is hmm, na wa. So Amira is dating Chief Adeniyi Johnson (Femi Branch)

Femi Branch as Chief Adeniyi Johnson

Who happens to be the father (step-father) of her once-upon-a-time best friend, Demi (Demola Adedoyin).

Demi hates her because she chose to become a sugar baby but by the end of the episode, we realise that he is just pained because he is in love with Amira. 

Also, Amira is looking for her father which in a way gives her a more nuanced storyline. 

Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts Episode 2

In this episode, we get to find out that Piriye is a bum. A broke ass who depends on his wife for sustenance and she does well to read him the riot act that if he doesnโ€™t dump Lulu, she would cut off his funds. 

Piriye doesnโ€™t care anyway because he is โ€œin love.โ€

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Amira gets a change of heart and throws Demi out of her house

Because Chief called. Demi leaves with his tail between his legs but he comes back again because heโ€™s a glutton for punishment.

Cassie gets to be Osazeโ€™s date to a family occasion and her girls help her get ready since she is going to the house of a very rich man.

From a rich family. Lulu borrows Cassie her dress while Amira gifts her some nice jewellery and Cassie goes to the event, charming everyone.

Except for this woman

Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts Episode 3

We finally get to find out who the random lady that eyeballed Cassie in the last episode was. Her name isย  Zaraย (Seyi Shay)

And she is Osazeโ€™s betrothed. As we all know, rich people only marry rich people and most of the time, they already who they getting married to by age 11. 

Osaze asks Zara for a break and goes over to Cassieโ€™s to surprise her with flowers.

And they decide to go on a date. 

Amira goes to meet up with her supposed father but sees this man instead

He talks about being a daddy, boyfriend, husband and fiance for hire and he wanted to eat chicken that is mortuary standard. 

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Like what the fuck is that? Does it mean that he eats cold food? 

So Demi meets her and comforts her and they do this

Nana Yeboah informs Lulu that she would be travelling and would want to get Lulu something. Lulu declines and Nana mocks her like the frenemy that she is. 

Nana travels and Lulu invites herself into Nanaโ€™s home. Piriye orders Peggy (Nanaโ€™s assistant) to transfer the money for his upkeep (5 million naira) to Lulu.

But Lulu is unsatisfied with it and goes out to drink with Peggy (Tebogo Thobejane). She gets drunk and Peggy texts Piriye to come pick her up.

Piriye does and takes her to his home. 

Myopicโ€™s Thoughts About This Season of Assistant Madams

Assistant Madams Dark Hearts looks promising. Off the bat we can tell that Nana is going to wreck Lulu so much, Lulu would wish that she wasnโ€™t born. 

Cassie is going to get her poor manโ€™s wake up call when Osazeโ€™s family tells her the business that she ainโ€™t no wife material for their son. Tochi might be used by Zara to fuck her up. That motherfucker is so desperate, he makes us

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 Amiraโ€™s story is the one that seems the most intriguing. She is 

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Both father and son and we donโ€™t know who her father is. Our prayer is that Adeniyi Johnson isnโ€™t her father because 

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But on second thought that would epic because who knows, she might kill herself in the end. 

The Flaws with Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts

1. The acting on this show is a 

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Especially Seyi Shay. Every take of hers look like sheโ€™s about to burst into laughter which also begs the question, Mr Director,

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Didn’t you see what we’re seeing?

2. The voice-overs in episode one were very distracting. It ruined the who experience. Hopefully, we donโ€™t have to suffer through any of those for the remainder of the season.

3. The scene where Piriye picked up Lulu while she was drunk.

Who told you to increase the playback speed? Why on earth would you ruin a critical moment of Lulu acting like a complete fool and Piriye trying to reason with her?

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The Positives with Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts

The plot is so much better than that of Season One. God, that was dreadful. The characters all have more engaging plots and it isnโ€™t as easy to predict exactly what is going to happen which is a good thing. 

Myopicโ€™s Verdict on Assistant Madams – Dark Hearts

First Episode: 6 out of 10

Second Episode: 5 out of 10

Third Episode: 6 out of 10. 

We are feeling very positive about this season.


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