The getaway vehicle exploded.

I had a feeling that something was going to happen when Faraday said “5 seconds until exit”.

Some guy watching the chaos happen with Brennan who I assume is the boss, turns to Brennan and says:

“better not lose that intel, Brennan”

Dude, fuck you.

Somebody is shooting the officers:
The first officer down.

SMH, this is a trap.

Another officer is down.
The third officer down.
The fourth officer down.

Only one officer left – Faraday.

Rox was attached and she shot the guy.

Why?! You were supposed to ask “Who sent you?”
But then she is rushing to somewhere, so fair enough.

A crazy thought just entered my head, what if Faraday is compromised… a mole?

Faraday got to the extraction point and left the “intel” to stand without holding on to him.

He’s about to get killed.

Yup! Shot and in the river, he goes.
But strangely enough, the “intel” was shot as well. Only the briefcase was taken.

Scene 2: Michael

Michael was woken up by his one-night stand to leave. The fun is over.
So he asks her:

When we first met, did you ever think we would hook up?

She replied,

I was your seventh-grade teacher when we first met, so no.

Then he said,

But you always passed me.

Like girl, what the fuck?

Michael walked downstairs to meet her son, who I suspect was his former classmate and it was so awkward.

Michael returned home and the first thing his mum said to him was “Nicole Hoffman” (the name of his seventh-grade teacher he just finished giving the business all night long).

Hmm, Michael is a construction worker.

So what is going to make him and Rox work together? She is a spy.

Scene 3: Mikey and Roxanne in a bar

Rox is here to meet Michael and before she enters the bar, she tells her boss, Brennan, that he is “their guy”.

They went to high school together? So that means she knows Ms Hoffman?

He said his tuxedo from high school still fits.

Where are his friends? He just ignored them once Rox entered the bar? I thought there would be some interaction between her and them since they all attended the same high school.

Scene 4: Outside

They went outside for a joyride and a trailer vehicle followed them.

I think Rox wants to kidnap Michael because why did she drive him to some bush? In his mind, they are about to have some alfresco sex but I highly doubt it.

Why did they laugh when he said:

I’ll do anything to make you smile

Was he a shit boyfriend?

She just injected him with something to make him sleep.

What did I say?

Scene 5: Michael awakes in a fancy house

Is he in London?
The interior of the building does look like he is in Europe.

Yep, he is in London.

Michael wants to rush back to work because he doesn’t want his foreman to “kill him”.

Honey, are you dumb?

Brennan is outside to “welcome” Michael.
Why did they allow him to drive a car in a country with a different lane from the one he is used to?

Is this some kind of training?

Scene 6: The explanation

Rox and Brennan work for The Union. They are an underground, undercover government agency.
Nobody knows they exist.
According to Brennan, they chose to recruit Michael because he is unknown, unsuspecting and would fly under the radar.

Street smarts over book smarts

Scene 7: Entrance test

Brennan and Rox take Michael to some lair and they go upstairs to meet a guy, Frank.
Michael tries to shake his hand but Frank swings at him.
So Michael is like

Don’t play me, I’m from the streets.

Frank smiles and says

Yeah, what street is that? Sesame street?

Scene 8: Roxanne just found out

About Michael fucking their seventh-grade English teacher.

She left him with them breaking up properly.

That sad ☹️

Roxanne gave him the ticket back to Jersey to go back to having the same life, the same job and the same friends.

We all know, he’s not going to take it. Not when she put it like that. Making it sound like he hasn’t progressed in life.

He called his mother and the first thing she said was “Roxanne Hall”?

I love his mum. She is very funny.

He is in because he wants to be the New Jersey James Bond.
Rox replied with

double O-go-fuck-yourself

Scene 9: Training Montage

He is going through hand-to-hand combat training, learning how to shoot: on target, and medicals.

I don’t understand why the doctor is always asking him instead of doing blood work, x-ray and whatever else doctors do on him.

Wait the doctor is also doing a psychological evaluation on him?

Girl, what is your actual profession?

What the fuck is this test?

and he had to do it blindfolded.
He ran to that edge blindfolded.

Scene 10: The Mission

Hmm, there is a guy pretending to be homeless but works for the auctioneer.

So they’re going to rob Mike, is that it?

He wasn’t robbed.
He was taken to a pub and there answered a phone call from a phone placed under the chair.
He was told to go to the men’s toilet where he met another guy who counted the money. After which he was told that the phone contained the device.
However, once he came out, hordes of people wanted to kill him.

What is that device and why are people being murdered for it?

Scene 11: After the mission

The foreman said the “device” was totally fried. He told the doctor (Athena).

So all of that hassle was for nothing?

Foreman thinks there is a leak. Brennan doesn’t think so. He trusts his team.

Foreman, do you want to tell us something? Are you the leak?

What if the leak is Brennan?
My reasoning isn’t genius. I think he might be the leak because he is J.K. Simmons. In movies, the protagonists and antagonists are the biggest stars.

Their plan is to steal someone else’s device.

Scene 12: Second Mission

They want Michael to return to Jersey but he doesn’t want to.

They’ve gone to steal from the Soviets who are pretending to be Korean.

Let me guess, they’re going to fail again because we aren’t halfway through the movie yet.

Athena appears to have a thing for Rox. Either it’s a crush or she’s a fan.

Their system has been overrun. Something bad is on the horizon.

Finally, Mike is useful. He hit one of the Soviets in the head and the guy is unconscious.
Wow, they killed Athena and their building has exploded.

What exactly is going on?

Scene 13: Mikey and Roxanne in a safe house

Rox is upset Athena died.

Off-topic: Halle Berry and Janet Jackson have the exact same voice.

They are lying on the same bed and Mikey is trying to get some.

Scene 14: New Headquarters

Oh, that douchebag that was putting pressure on Brennan was the CIA.

He is sooooooooooooooo unlikeable.

The CIA douchey says that his boss is calling them to know which state he has to sell to fund the operation.

Brennan: We can sell Idaho. No one will notice.
CIA douchey: I’m from Idaho.
Brennan: You think I don’t know that?

They’ve found the auctioneer and she was the one with the briefcase that was stolen in the beginning.

Somebody is at the door and it is Faraday.

I said it earlier that something didn’t make sense about him.

Faraday said the leak in The Union is Tom Brennan.

You’re welcome.

Now this twist… I didn’t see coming.

Rox: Why didn’t tell me?
Faraday: I was trying to protect you.
Michael: You’ve been pretending to be dead for two weeks. Why should she trust you, asshole.
Faraday: because I’m married to her, asshole.

It’s safe to say that Roxanne loves turning her lovers into co-workers.

Rox just parked in the middle of the road.

[deep sigh] a car is going to crash into them

Oh, Mike left instead.

Thank God.

Sooooooo

I was right and wrong and right again.

Faraday was the leak. He is the bad guy. He is working with the auctioneer lady.

Brennan is not the bad guy. He was never the leak.

Sorry

Brennan has been arrested.

This auctioneer is Faraday’s girlfriend. They are hugged up on a yacht.

The auctioneer dumped Faraday and left him to die.

Welcome to the used and dumped bin, Nick Faraday.

She took the bodyguards with her.

Michael was chased by the Iranian and got locked in the boot of a car.
The same Iranian then dumped his own vehicle and is driving the car Mike is locked in.
He is chasing Rox who is chasing Nick who is now with the briefcase.

This is some fast and furious type of car chase.

Aww, Mike made it to his friend’s wedding.

Everybody dancing to this song at the wedding.

Mike and Rox were about to go bang in the closet but it was a ruse by Rox to recruit him again.
They meet Brennan on the way to the closet.

Poor Mike, Roxanne constantly uses his thirst to manipulate him.

Oh, she didn’t invite Brennan. He invited himself.

By the way, where is Frank?

Outro

I liked this film. It was funny and light-hearted and fun.