This is going to be a long post so;
How to Die Alone – Episode 5
Look at this useless married man texting a woman who is not his wife.
Whore.
Melissa asked the taxi driver to turn on the AC in winter because she was feeling hot and this man gave her a BOMBASTIC SIDE-EYE.
Criminal offensive side-eye.
Melissa’s mom arrived at Brian’s (her brother) home for Thanksgiving. She took one look at Brian’s white wife, Sarah and said:
Why would she say that?!
Melissa received the text Brian meant to send to his mistress Tia.
Good, he won’t be able to talk shit this Thanksgiving knowing that Melissa is aware of his indiscretions.
Ohhhh
Melissa is the mistress. She is catfishing Brian as Tia.
What if the texts get naughty and he sends her a picture of his ding-dong?
I need to sanctify my brain.
Melissa tried to get information from Brian to know if he hated her and Brian surprisingly gave a very sensible answer.
Despite Brian being a horndog, he does care a lot about Melissa.
Melissa’s mother and her mother’s friend are SHADY. Melissa was happy to report she got into a management program and they were like, “I thought you got into a man.”
Melissa’s mother is a bitch. Yes, I said it, Aunty is a bitch.
Melissa still trying to impress her mother said, she was going to Hawaii in December and her mother used the opportunity to remind her she was fat.
That was brutal.
Melissa (as Tia) asked Brian that they meet and “swap” stories. He agreed and here they are…
At least Brian said what I was thinking because woof
Imagine the horror if that happened.
Melissa was trying to big up her useless self by reducing her brother’s achievements because he is a cheating husband. She basically forced Brian to call her “broke, dishonest and an identity thief”
Immediately he said that her smirk vanished and her face fell.
Whether her brother is a cheating husband or not is irrelevant to why Melissa is a fuck up. That is her own doing and she is too irresponsible to take responsibility.
Brian is a solid brother.
How to Die Alone – Episode 6
Aww, Terrence brought a gift for Melissa for her graduation.
I don’t like Patti but I am enjoying her in this episode.
She is in her own world and doesn’t know how to relate with people in a normal way: but, she is quite perceptive.
What do we have here? Mel’s men.
They both want to text her.
Also wow at Terrence. His girl Tina is also graduating and this man brought a gift for his “friend” Melissa.
Look at them…
I am only pro-Terrence here. Alex needs to face his fiancee and allow her to enjoy her married life without him being attached to another woman.
Terrence is already territorial.
Hmm, Patti hates Melissa because she is Alex’s friend and she cares about his wellbeing.
Patti is not so bad after all but, she can be a little smothering. She is the kind of friend that tries to force you into doing what they consider is the right thing to do.
Regardless of her faults, she wants the best for Alex. So since she can’t make him do right by himself, she tries to get rid of his problem herself.
I love Shaun and Deshawn. These two are hilarious.
Terrence and Tina broke up. Okay.
At least he did the right thing by breaking things off with one girl before moving on to the next.
Shaun and Deshawn know he likes Melissa.
Shaun and Deshawn are two very unserious people.
They are the personification of this meme:
Terrence did some elaborate flight simulation roleplay for Melissa to feel comfortable flying.
Terrence is so thoughtful. I will LOSE MY MIND if she chooses Alex over him just because her stupid heart “wants what it wants”.
Terrence was having a really nice time with Mel when Alex walked in and his smile vanished.
This makes me sad and worried for Terrence because I don’t want Melissa to end up with Alex.
Oh my God, I am behaving like Patti who wants to will my favourite people (characters) into getting what they deserve.
Oh no I did not just hear what I heard.
Bitch what? So you are saying you are going to Hawaii to ruin the wedding of the person who invited you to his wedding?
This is why I can’t bring myself to root for your ass. All you do is jump from fuck-up to fuck-up to fuck-up.
How to Die Alone – Episode 7
This woman actually took herself to the airport to go tell Alex that she was still in love with him, A NIGHT BEFORE HIS WEDDING.
Thank God he had already left.
Scratch that.
Alex didn’t leave. He is at the Thai restaurant Melissa chose to sit down and lick her wounds.
What the fuck is he doing here?
He missed his flight because he forgot his bag.
Melissa chose to apologise instead for being mean to Alex after he told her he loved her and he accepted her apology.
And this is why I gave him a BOMBASTIC SIDE-EYE when he said a bag was the reason why he missed his flight.
Alex doesn’t have a wedding tie so he and Melissa go shopping for one. Alex also doesn’t know how to tie a tie, so Melissa ties it for him. While she was tying the tie, Alex started looking at Melissa with longing.
These two idiots need to get off my screen.
They are doing Karaoke now and the song is Leave The Door Open by Silk Sonic.
So this entire episode is about them dating for the whole night and ending with a resolution.
All I care about is that it ends with Alex deciding to marry Julie. Any other resolution is unacceptable.
Time has frozen for them. It’s just the two of them in their own world together.
Please do quick with this nonsense date and leave my screen.
I hate Melissa.
She dragged this man’s face and kissed him. She made him have on his conscience the guilt of cheating on his fiancee before his wedding just because she had relationship-FOMO.
Fuck you, Melissa.
You stupid bitch.
Alex did the right thing. He said:
and left her stupid ass
Melissa is a rubbish human being,
This bitch said she doesn’t want to hurt anybody…
Really?
Melissa said she is now realizing she should have put herself first.
Bitch, you have been putting yourself first. When Alex told you he loved you and you dumped him, YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
You were insecure and you felt that agreeing to his desires would not end well for you, so you put yourself first.
Stop trying to feel sorry for your useless self and stop hurting people because you don’t want to feel left out.
Alex is not some YouTube video you can press pause on, go do your nonsense and expect him to be at the same place you left him.
She tried to manipulate Alex, saying “tell me you don’t love me“. Trying to exploit his weakness like the demon that she is.
But Alex turned the question on its head, “tell me you love me”.
and she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t.
When your pastor tells you to pray against principalities and powers of darkness, it is Melissa they are talking about.
She does not love Alex. She is only desperate to cage that one man she knows “loves” her. She knows that once he gets married, he won’t be around to keep liking and longing for her while she wastes her life being a fuck up.
As Alex was about to leave, she asked him “Alex, where are you going?” and Alex said:
I know that’s right.
Alex may have been unsure before that night but after the stunt that Melissa pulled, he knows marrying Julie is the right choice.
I like Alex, he is such a smart guy and Julie is blessed to have him.
How to Die Alone – Episode 8
These two selfish idiots are finally having a sitdown after their explosive fight in Episode 4.
Honestly, I think they should reunite. They deserve each other. After all, misery has to have company.
She told Rory what happened the night before between her and Alex and Rory asked why she was scared to tell Alex she loved him. She said she didn’t know and Rory asked her,
Yes, Rory. Melissa does not love Alex.
Aww, Rory is going to Hawaii with his boyfriend, Ben.
What did I say when I watched episode 1?
Melissa changed her flight. She gave her seat to have as many layovers to miss Alex’s wedding.
Thank God she did.
There was flight turbulence and everyone was scared that they’d die.
This is the worst first flight experience ever.
Wow, she is updating Terrence on her travels.
Why is she confusing this man though? Also, Terrence please tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, it will free you.
Look at the smile on Terrence’s face while talking to Melissa.
She went to a diner in Chicago – the same place as in Elise’s picture.
She met the owner of the diner and he used to be Elise’s boyfriend.
Shaun and Deshawn are the best. I love them so much. Terrence asked them if they were going to work or not and Deshawn called him Rihanna.
LOL
She met a TRAX at the Chicago airport and she told Melissa to shoot her shot with Terrence
She just fucked up her brother’s marriage unknowingly.
That serves him right. Cheating ass motherfucker.
Melissa returned and she was about to hug Terrence
When she got arrested for credit card fraud.
I know Brian had something to do with this just to pay her back for exposing him.
Well, in her next life, she will not steal anymore.
Final Thoughts
The series was a 7 over 10 for me because as much as I liked watching the catastrophe that was Melissa’s life, I would have liked to have seen what happened in the lives of the other people.
I didn’t like we heard what happened to them instead of seeing it. I felt it would have added so much to the show. Melissa is not a likeable character, so spending the whole series watching her be a fuckup is not fun.
I would have loved to see how Thanksgiving went with Terrence and Tina. I would have loved to watch Rory balance the happiness he felt in his new relationship with nursing the heartbreak from his broken friendship.
Allie’s life would have been nice to see. Same as Tamika and the aftermath with Carlos Chavez. These were stories I would have enjoyed. But then, this was how the showrunner and writer chose to tell their story.
I have to respect it.
Do I think this show would get a second season?
I hope it does and a bigger budget so that they can expand the storytelling and make it richer.
Are you going to watch this?