I am finally watching this movie the whole of Twitter is obsessed with. I hope it is good because if it is not, I’m going

All of you.

So let’s begin:

Anora

The movie just started and all I see are ass and titties in my face.

Seeing that this is the direction we are headed, I need to put this disclaimer in place.

This man is an idiot.

Just shut up and enjoy your lapdance. Nobody wants to hear your two cents.

Not this stripper being territorial over a John.

It’s not that deep. He is just a client.

This whole exchange was so funny.

I too want to manifest some dollars in my pocket.

If I ask someone:

and they reply me with:

I’m not giving you anything. When you make up your mind, you will tell me what you really want.

Look at this lazy Ivan waiting for the maid to make the bed he sleeps in.

If it isn’t so difficult, do it your damn self.

I know Ivan is high but I don’t get the joke.

He is not as funny as he thinks he is.

I have a lot of respect for how focused Ani is. It doesn’t matter that she is liking Ivan, she is still going to charge him for spending time with her.

She doesn’t do osho-free.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I am.

I am bored with the marathon sex scenes. Is there a story hidden in this movie or am I just watching softcore pornography?

These two idiots are getting married.

This is not going to end well. A rich brat marrying a ho?

I guess I’m about to get the story I have been waiting for 39 minutes to happen.

Ivan is celebrating that he is American now but…

… 90-day fiance taught me otherwise. It doesn’t work like that.

Anora hopes that Ivan’s parents like her when she meets them.

LOL

I can’t be the only one who thinks that Igor is attracted to Anora.

He wants to fuck her right? If you have watched this movie and you are reading this, did he fuck her?

Not Ani getting way too comfortable.

Girl, you just got here. Shut the fuck up and observe before you speak.

She is still talking.

This girl doesn’t have sense. You see men that look like wise guys who work for your father-in-law. Instead of you to shut the fuck up, observe and plan your exit, you are here doing boss bitch.

Continue. Casket is calling your name.

Ani is offended she was called a hooker.

Why? Isn’t that your job?

A hooker is someone who gets paid to have sex and that is exactly what you do.

I see delusion is strong on Anora.

Wonders shall never end.

I’m sorry but Ani getting triggered every time she is called a prostitute is bothering on fantasy.

I cannot believe anyone can lack as much self-awareness as this Anora character.

Anora is an idiot.

There is “not taking shit from anybody” and there is “not having enough sense to read the room.”

She’s the latter—a belligerent fool. You are new to an environment, your priority is to first understand the people you are dealing with before you run your mouth.

This whole Ani, Ivan and Toros exchange is exhausting. I am tired of it and want it to end.

Ivan heard his parents were coming to America so he decided to run away BUT Anora is wasting his time so he leaves her with Garnik and Igor.

So much for love.

Before I go any further, I want to say something. Neither Anora nor Ivan love each other. Anora married Ivan for money while Ivan married Anora for freedom (from his parents).

I doubt they even like each other.

My God! Anora is so stupid.

Which Ivan? The same coward who ran away and left you for his parents to devour? That same Ivan?

Anora is a dunce. A daft of infinite proportions.

What is not clicking? They said your marriage is null and void and you are still calling yourself a wife?

Torros might just be my favourite character so far.

Facts, neither she nor that twinkly twat love each other.

Woah!

These two are gonna fuck.

Right? Right?

Garnick is going to die.

He has a concussion and no one seems to care.

I like Torros. He is the only reason why I am still watching this movie.

The girl who was fighting with Anora over a customer is now dancing for Vanya.

The game is the game. No harm no foul.

Anora is insufferable.

What is going on with her brain? I know she is desperate to remain married to a rich brat but can’t she see that she is dealing with an idiot?

Vanya is tired of Anora already.

I’m tired of her too. Her constant yappering is annoying. She is an irritant.

No way Ani was smiling when she saw Vanya’s mother after his family had called her ten different types of whores.

Ivan’s mother ignored her and she fixed her face back to sadness.

How is it yet to dawn on her that she married a delinquent who is bound to do what his parents tell him to do because he needs their money?

In all my life, I have never seen someone so stubbornly stupid.

Anora…

I’m starting to think that this Ivan is probably 17 years old pretending to be 21.

Anora is a fucking idiot. Is she trying to fight the hand that feeds her? Is that how desperate she is to be a gold digger?

Anora, Vanya is listening to his parents because he respects and fears them. That’s why.

Ivan finally spoke and I am living for it.

Yes, Vanya. Anora is very stupid – belligerently stupid in fact.

Anora is a ghetto desperado.

Even Igor couldn’t help but laugh when he heard that nonsense.

Galina is my second favourite character. That woman dragged the fuck out of Anora.

After she said what she said, Anora course corrected and entered the plane.

Ivan finally called Anora an escort

and she was flabbergasted.

She really thought she found a mark who fell in love with her.

This right here is the reason why I will NEVER like or root for Anora.

She is rude for no reason whatsoever other than because that’s who she is – a horrible person.

So about this exchange, I need to ask the writer and director some questions.

Are you trying to say that Anora is so man-obsessed she doesn’t mind being raped because it means she is desired? Is that what you are trying to tell us?

Igor stole Anora’s ring back and gave it to her.

I like him. He’s cool.

Colour me shocked.

Final Thoughts

I was not the target audience for this movie. I did not I enjoy it and sadly I hated the main character, Anora. She was aggravating and not someone to root for. Maybe it is by design but that made me dislike the movie.

I think this was a short film that was stretched out to over an hour.

My Letterboxd rating is 2 out of 5 stars.